Happy New Year, you lovely, awful world

I woke up this morning and checked my news site. I'd entirely forgotten that Saddam Hussein was going to be executed, but there they were: pictures of the man having a noose looped around his neck, then lying dead and bloody.

I remember when I was a teenager that this man scared me. There were always rumblings coming out of Bhagdad that Saddam had a Nuke or a Bio-weapon that could wipe a lot of us out. I remember the photos of the UN inspectors dressed in apocalyptic bio-hazard suits on the covers of Time and Newsweek.

Then, years later, came the invasion of Iraq. Like most Americans I was thrilled by how quickly victory seemed to be ours. I remember listening to radio broadcasts of Iraqis celebrating in the street. I stopped by a Starbucks on my way to work and ran into friend; we were both grinning ear-to-ear, drinking our lattes. Finally I remeber the gung-ho capture of Saddam himself. What did the soldier say? "George Bush sends his regards." How cool!

But seeing those pictures made me sad. Is this how it ends? A fat old man getting his neck broken and going to hell? Revenge is not as sweet as I expected.

Now I have new things fear: North Korea is the new Iraq. Did you hear that they're testing Nukes? One of those things could take out the west coast. Or what about Iran? They've gone Nuclear too and they hate us. We've got to do something!

The story continues to put out the same plot. I've lost the desire to see Kim Jong or Ahmadinejad meet Saddam's fate. I wish this whole thing would end like a Disney movie. But it won't end; it'll just start new loathesome chapters.

This isn't an anti-war rant. That's possibily the worst part of this whole thing. The peace crowd is hiding it's head in the sand. All the stuff that the hawks say is true. The world is honestly a bad place. No amount of protests are going to change that. Nice idea but it's time to come back to reality. (Oh and by the way, science and "progress" are largely to blame for most of our problems today. Yes, thanks for antibiotics but I'm fairly ticked that you gave us massive pollution and the ability to wipe out whole contenients in seconds. I eagerly await what you'll bring us next.)

Ah, but it's just as bad over here on the conservative end. We had six years of government control and not much has changed for the better. People are still killing babies. War has increased. Again, this is not a put-down to President Bush. But I've lost the neive belief that polictical leaders can change the world. They might be able to change situations but changing men's hearts is another thing.

In short here's a prediction for 07: Continued degredation of society, news headlines that keep us up at night, war, rumors of wars, disease, death, chaos.

Last night I was putting my two kids to bed. Jack is four and Lily is two. We have a new tradition of singing a song together to help Jack not be afraid of the dark. "Sing the shield song," he says. We turn out the lights and huddle close together in the dark, Lily under one arm and Jack under the other. We sing:

Thou, O Lord, are a shield about me;
you're my glory;
you're the lifter of my head;

Hallelujah, you're the lifter of my head;
Lord, I love you, you're the lifter of my head;


Jack likes the part about the shield. So do I. Their little off-key voices join with mine and we soulfully sway back and forth together, singing.

All my life, from my earliest memories, I've been singing that song when I'm afraid. I remember lying on my bed singing it in the dark when I was no more than three. I sang it when I was a teenager and I was scared stiff of UFOs (don't ask). My list of fears grows with each year so I find myself singing that song often as an adult.

I feel optimistic about this year. The world is going downhill fast if it ever was uphill to begin with, but all will be well in the end. I've lost faith in many things. I no longer believe that war brings the victory we desire. I don't think politicians make the kinds of changes we want them to. I find little satisfaction in the American dream. I never really had much trust in science in the first place but I think it will only usher new horrors upon us. But Jesus has not failed me. The older I get, the more my idol collection shrinks; more and more I have to cling to the living God.

I don't know what my children will face when they're grown but I don't think it will be any better. It will probably be worse. I hope they remember the song when they're afraid.

Amazing, isn't it? I still find great hope in things I understood before I knew how to use the toilet. The Lord is a shield about me. World, bring what you will. Hallelujah, he's the lifter of our head. Come quickly, Jesus. Only you can end this wonderful, awful story.

This year I'm going to pursue him more than I ever have. What else is there to do? This will be a good year.

Happy New Year, everyone.