Being self-employed is great...

...except some days are a little crazy. For example, on Saturday I started working on a job that I only had budgeted one day to complete. I started work at 6:00 AM. I finished at 1:00 AM Sunday morning. And people wonder why I'm such a coffee addict.

I'm not complaining. I'm just offering an excuse why I haven't updated my blog much this week.

Despite the wacky working hours, I'm on page 60 of my rewrite of Part One. It's going faster than anything I've ever written before.

Reason to write # 1: It's worth doing

I've been thinking lately, why do I write? In reply, there's really no single reason. But here's one:

It's worth doing

I run my own web programming business full-time. I haven't gone bankrupt yet so I guess I'm moderately successful. I've been blessed to do work that I actually enjoy. Believe it or not, writing computer programs is actually a very enjoyable, creative process at times. But no matter how cool the program, no matter how successful - it will never make a person cry (unless it's out of frustration. See Microsoft Windows.), it won't make them brave when they're scared, it won't make them feel romantic, it won't lead them to praise God. Programs themselves are all about dollars and cents, nothing more. Anyone who tells you otherwise is lying or trying to market a product of their own.

Writing on the other hand - although the publishing business is all about money - is something entirely different. When I was in the midst of a spiritual crisis, Puddleglum from The Silver Chair gave me reason to believe. I'm continually warned by Iago from Othello about the dangers of jealousy. G.K. Chesterton makes me want to jump around with joy whenever I read his books whereas Stephen King left me depressed for quite some time. Even though my world-traveling has been extremely limited, I've seen England and Wales through Susan Cooper's eyes. Closer to home, I've spent years laughing at the quirks of midwesterners with Garrison Kellior. I'm vitally connected to Jews, Romans and God through The Bible.

I think writing is something worth mastering because it effects people. Personally, I'd like to help kids be brave. If I ever do that with one of my stories, I'll consider myself a successful writer.

Worst writing night ever

Last night I had what may have been my worst writing night ever. I stared at one paragraph for almost an hour, trying to figure out how to say what I wanted to say. It was like digging through dry sand. I ended up going to bed without success.

I attacked the paragraph again tonight with better results. It still feels awkward to me. But at least I got through it.

I present it now, not because I'm particularly proud of it (I suspect that it fairly stinks). But the following few paragraphs did have me licked last night. I'm glad to have them behind me. Sometimes writing is like hacking through a jungle with a machete.

***

Penelope listened to their conversation. There was a familiarity between those two. She guessed that they had known each other for many years. Watching them, she felt very alone, like peering through a window from the outside.

“She’s crying,” Fin said abruptly under his breath and nodded towards Penelope. Indeed she was.

Lilith quickly moved to her and placed one firm hand on her shoulder. “All will be well, Penelope,” she whispered. “You must believe me. All will be well in the end.”

“I’m fine,” Penelope sniffed, wiping her cheeks. “I just thought of a joke.”

In fact she had thought of a joke. But it was a joke that only a few of her friends in Luna Castle had known, and it was the sort that could not be retold without losing its humor. That was what had started her crying. All the jokes, secrets, wordless knowledge shared between long friends and family had been taken from her. Everyone who needed just to glance at her face to understand that she was happy or sad was dead. She was among strangers – kind strangers, but strangers nonetheless. Now she wanted to go home. Oh how she wanted to go home.

Novel Progress

Pages re-written: 5 today 42 total

Inspirations: C.S. Lewis, Emily Bronte, T.S. Elliot, Stephen King.

Penelope swallowed and grimaced. “The problem is your meatsoak. You should dice some rawherb, with a bit of honey, and – if they’re ripe on the trees – squeeze some lemons, and use half the salt. That’s a savory venison meatsoak.”

For a moment Lilith’s face lost all its grandness and stark beauty and she looked like a shy young girl. Penelope realized that she’d somehow hurt her feelings.


Last week, I mysteriously burst a blood vessel in my left eye. It doesn't hurt but the blood has slowly spread until now one half of my eye is completely red. I'm kind of enjoying this looking-like-a-freak. I gives me a sense of menace that I've been lacking. I'll be sad when it clears up.

To all fantasy-buffs (and if you're reading this blog, you probably are) I order you to watch MirrorMask. It is one of the best movies I've watched in a long time. Squeaky-clean and written by the amazing Neil Gaimen.

I have been writing lately...

...just not keeping track of my progress. *Hangs head in shame* I've just been so busy. Today's update has more general notes:

1) In this rewrite Penelope suddenly became spoiled. Not to a Veruca Salt level but she's wallowing in self-pity and thinks Fin smells bad. I'm glad this trait developed. It'll be a nice character arc for her.

2) After killing off the entire population of one city, I decided to do serious harm to another. My poor characters.

3) It's strange reading how I originally intended my characters to interact. They've all done a complete about face.

I went on a book shopping-spree yesterday. I got some pretty slick books that I can't wait to read. I got:



Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
I think I'll finish this in about twenty years. This book is thicker than my waist.


Under the Greenwood Tree by Thomas Hardy
Looked fun.


The Waste Land and other poems by T.S. Elliot
T.S. Elliot is amazing. The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock is one of my favorite poems ever. I think I've shared it here. Choruses from The Rock is also remarkably insightful into modern society.


Krazy & Ignatz by George Herriman
Comics can't get any more whimsical than Krazy Kat. The art is beautiful too.

Novel Stats

Pages re-written: 3 today 31 total

Inspirations: C.S. Lewis Emily Bronte, Kate Rusby, Stephen King.

New lines I like:
Lilith was old. It was never more apparent then now, holding this shuddering child, so alive and confused with heartbeats, tears, remorse and anger. It occurred to her that she had once wept like this, how many centuries ago? But that was before her soul died, leaving a body behind that would not. In the midst of her reflection, she began to feel silly for having put on lipstick.

Still holding Penelope, she reached for a cloth next to the bed and wiped the makeup from her lips. Then she cleared some of the tears and mucus from the girl’s face. When she’d done so she wished she hadn’t. At least one person could mourn for the fallen in New Camelot. Penelope’s face, so dirty with emotion, was quite lovely in a way.

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It's interesting how wordy my first draft is. Editing it is like hacking through a jungle of paragraphs; get these weeds out of the way, I'm trying to get somewhere.

It's incredibly beautiful in Grass Valley these days. Everything is green and fresh. I love my town.

Novel Stats

Pages re-written: 3 today 31 total

Inspirations: C.S. Lewis Emily Bronte, Kate Rusby, Stephen King.

New lines I like:
Lilith watched Fin through the window as he trudged away. His movements were so methodical and determined, so manlike – even in his walk. The foolishness that usually came with his age had passed him by without lingering and it was a pity, she thought. The years to come would be hard for Fin.
***********************************************

So tired... It's been a long day. I'm just managing to finish this blog post before seriously crashing. Good night.

i carry your heart

Recently I saw an okay movie that featured this very cool poem, unfortunately read by Cameron Diaz. Nonetheless, it's quite beautiful.

i carry your heart with me
(i carry it in my heart)
I am never without it
(anywhere i go you go, my dear;
and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear no fate
(for you are my fate, my sweet)
i want no world
(for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are
whatever a moon has always meant and
whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root
and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;
which grows higher than
soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder
that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart
(i carry it in my heart)

~ e.e. cummings

Novel Stats

Pages re-written: 4 today 28 total

Inspirations: C.S. Lewis Emily Bronte, Kate Rusby, Stephen King.

New lines I like:
Sharp, clear air stung in Fin’s nose and chest as he made his way home. Birds gossiped in the trees and the sun felt warm on his neck. And yet, just ten miles away, thousands of corpses were already beginning to decay. The world disagreed with itself, Fin thought: It wanted to be ugly and lovely at the same time.
***********************************************

Some nights writing is very fun; each paragraph comes out better than you anticipated. Tonight was like that. Props to the muse for showing up.

My Softball team played its first game tonight. We lost 12-17 but I had a good time. Simon, you were sorely missed. Especially since you looked like Barry Bonds the last time I saw you at batting practice.

I watched Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon last night and I honestly think it's one of the best movies ever made. It's in my top five, for sure. Romance-wise, it's one of those rare movies that - with one scene as an exception - is quite steamy without being titillating. I think Ziyi Zhang may be the most beautiful actress. Ever.